Here we are the last step of the RULER method–regulation! A quick note before we complete this little series. You’ve probably already noticed that a linear process (recognize, then understand, then label, then express, then regulate) doesn’t completely match how we experience and respond to our emotions.
The RULER method is a way of teaching these skills in a logical order, but the steps don’t necessarily need to be carried out in this order. Once students have the skills, they can apply them as they see fit! Okay here we go, on to regulation.
What is Emotional Regulation?
We regulate our emotions when we try to adjust them in some way–by avoiding a difficult person, taking a break from an overwhelming conversation, or temporarily distracting ourselves when we’re drowning in negative emotion.
Regulation isn’t exercising complete control over our emotions. Rather, it’s making small adjustments so our emotions don’t exercise complete control over us.
How Can I Help My Students with Emotional Regulation?
You can help your students with emotional regulation in two main ways:
- Teach them some generic regulation strategies they can use in the future.
- Help them regulate difficult emotions in real time.
When I was creating resources for my RULER series, I developed activities around the regulation strategies listed in Marc Brackett’s book, Permission to Feel.
Each of the strategies in the unit (and in the book) fall into these categories:
- Practice Mindful Breathing
- Plan Ahead
- Decide which upcoming conversations/events will be difficult.
- Would it be okay to avoid this difficult situation?
- If not, decide how you want to cope with the difficulty.
- Distract
- This is a temporary solution. Distract yourself until you feel less overwhelmed, then return to the situation and problem solve.
- Reframe
- Make sure the thing you’re upset about is actually happening.
- Example: You think a friend is mad at you, because she was short with you in a recent conversation. You may reframe the situation by thinking, “She’s been dealing with some health issues, this probably isn’t about me.”
- Visualize Your Best Self
- When things get difficult, and you’re about to say something you’ll regret, pause and visualize your best self. What would this best self do?
- Take a moment and realign with your values before responding or reacting.
Giving students these strategies in the classroom (ideally when they aren’t feeling overwhelmed or experiencing negative emotions) means they have resources to draw on when things inevitably get difficult. If you’d like some concrete ways to practice emotional regulation in the classroom, preview my unit on TpT.
What do you think of the above list? Do you have other regulation strategies to add?
